and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
