Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We need to get me chipped asap
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize