I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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