My first STD was from a foam party
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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