Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
