I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
