In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
