i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it's great music for shaving your balls
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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