we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize