Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
