I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i now understand why vodka
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
