I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
