I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
