Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
