you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
