Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
