just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
