Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
