just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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