i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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