He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
