And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
