i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
