Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
