I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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