So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
