sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
