it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
