dude i'm inner monologue high
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
