Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
