I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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