Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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