My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
