No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
