Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
