There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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