Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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