the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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