I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
