my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
