The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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