New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
