Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
