dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize