Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize