i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
