It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
