I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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