1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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