if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
