Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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