my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
