...so i touched it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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