Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
