If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
