that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
