the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
