His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
