why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
