summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
