Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
