you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
