I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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