another moral hangover. fuck.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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