shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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