after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
