She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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