With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize