There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
soo... how was my night?
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