Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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