I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
