he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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