woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize