If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
nutella sex= disaster
I intend to get homeless drunk
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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