3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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