it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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